Posts from the ‘Humour’ Category

JIMBO’S BLOG/HOW TO AVOID THE SCAMS


Hi Guys

My blog addy as usual is www.miteamshirts.com or send me a personal e-mail to james@mits-online.co.uk and our websites are www.myteamshirts.co.uk and www.mits-online.co.uk

You will be quite surprised at the wide content on our website. CHECK IT OUT WHILE YOU ARE BROWSING.

Here are some RISQUE SCREEN PRINTED SHIRTS for you to see that we have been asked to supply, so we do.

  

Ok on to my blog.

I am quickly discovering from the comments that you send me, that you appreciate and are grateful for much of the content and facts  that I include in some of my blogs.

You have gone on further to say that you have found the facts very helpful and have put some to good use.

Previously I have included the facts, as I see them and have left you to decide what you do with the info.

This time in my blog I am just going to give you some common sense logical points that you should consider before you think about THROWING YOUR MONEY AWAY TO SCAMSTERS (SCUMSTERS).

Common Sense Ideas for Protecting Yourself against Scams

The best way to avoid getting taken in by a scam is to take heed of the age-old saying: “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is“. A free lunch sounds great, but not when it ends up costing you 100 times the cost of a regular lunch. Many of the internet scams resolve around a few common concepts. By learning to recognize them you can easily avoid many scams.

  1. Earnings, wages, commissions, winnings, that are excessive.
  2. Getting something you never asked for; ie: winning a lottery you never entered, getting a job you never interviewed for, etc.
  3. Getting involved in an “easy” business that you have no background in that offers high profits.
  4. Receiving payments of any kind and returning part of them by Western Union, Wire Transfer etc.
  5. Purchasing something from a far-away country at a price that is very low.

The key element in all of these is that you believe you will make some quick easy money. In the end you will lose lots of time and money and receive nothing in exchange.

Use a little common sense, and keep in mind that the scammers try their scams on many people and can easily develop the skills to manipulate you into trusting them.

A few quick examples.

Promise of jobs abroad

Ask someone in the USA if they want a job for US$ 120,000 abroad  and how easy it is to get. I bet you’ll find a lot of people that want just a job and there are very few such jobs.

Do you really think you can get such a job in Africa without even completing an interview? Use some common sense and you’ll save the money you’re about to send for the visa processing fees. Yes, you’ll be told it will be completely refunded. The truth is there is no refund and if you pay that there will probably be another fee… and another one… until you run out of money or stop paying.

Do you really think it is common for a nanny to earn US$500 a week… or that nannies in the USA are paid in British Pounds? Same scam, you’ll be asked to contact a travel agency to arrange for your trip… whatever you pay is lost money. I got accepted as nanny just by emailing and not providing any qualifications. Think!

Animal sob stories

Do you really think someone is going to ship a pet from Africa for a couple hundred dollars? They may claim to be religious and have a sob story about the animal, but aside from the actual customs regulations in your country if you were to receive an animal, they will play on your emotions to extract all kinds of fees as the animal is supposedly being transported to you. Of course the sellers don’t have any animals, just a few photos and heart wrenching words.

Accepting scam payments

There are many excuses to send you a cheque, from buying something to processing payments for someone abroad. The essence of this scam is to overpay you for something or trick you into thinking you can earn a nice commission processing payments. A few weeks or months after you deposit the cheques, they will bounce (forged cheques) and you’ll be out the bank fees, and whatever cash you forwarded to the scammers and you might even get hassled by the police too!

Deposit Accounts

Another thing to watch out for is someone from overseas that is looking for you to purchase products on your credit card (or theirs) and then reship the merchandise to them. If you use your credit card you can be sure you’ll never actually get paid (see above about forged cheques). If you use their credit card you can pretty much bet on it being a stolen card. Either way, you’re going to be out the cost of the merchandise and the overseas shipping. I won’t even get into the hassles you open yourself up to if the stuff wasn’t bought with your credit card.

These are just a few pointers to look out for and to consider before you PAY FOR THE FREE LUNCH.

That’s it for another blog so take care and stay healthy

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

Blackburn Rovers are DOOMED while VENKY’S are the owners.

What do CHICKEN FARMERS know about how to run a football club?

What do I say when they are playing in the ‘Championship’?

I knew I would get my winge in somewhere.

JIMBO’S BLOG/DOES SEX SELL?/GREEDY POLITICIANS AND BUSINESS FAT CATS


Hi Guys.

My blog addy is www.miteamshirts.com.

Yeah I’ve really got my own dot com addy, can’t believe my luck.

My personal e-mail addy is James@mits-online.co.uk , and ladies, I love your e-mails but please don’t get so personal. Behave yourselves. I’m an ‘Old Git’.

Okay let’s get down to business and do some plain speaking which I do quite often. If you can’t then I can and will for you.

Those of us with websites hope to make money. That’s usually the norm’  but not always. Some want to send out a message to people less fortunate than ourselves. Some websites want to combine both together.

At www.myteamshirts.co.uk we also want to combine business with caring for others.

You have the contact details now to be able to get in touch, to ask for advice or just to give your opinions. I have large ears so please get in touch PLEASE.

Websites are www.myteamshirts.co.uk/www.mits-online.co.uk

We people with websites are in a unique position to help each other by just clicking onto a LIKE BUTTON. If you are just visiting a website or reading a blog from curiosity or for info’ PLEASE BE COURTEOUS and leave a comment whether it’s good or bad.

I leave comments on a regular basis and ALSO TRY to leave a FAVOURABLE remark. We all love compliments, and I am no exception.

I’m gonna’ question your motives now.

Which part of my HEADING  led you here? Was it the SEX INNUENDO, or POLITICS and BUSINESS?

I’m going to cover both briefly, after all you don’t want to be brow beaten.

 POLITICS and BUSINESS

I am not a  politician, although it has been said that I should be, but then what do I know?

I speak my mind and I so wish that politicians would do the same, and not ‘toe the party line’ or the WHIPS. (The sex comes later).

It seems to me and friends I talk to that the ‘majority’ of politicians just offer ‘RHETORIC/WORDS’ and are paid approx. £70,000 per year for not doing very much except showing themselves up, like kids in the playground, particularly the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition at Prime Minister’s question time each Wednesday at 12:00 noon.

Why is it called question time? Questions deserve answers. Have you ever heard them answer with’an ‘answer’?

I watch regularly the ‘Daily Politics‘ on BBC TV and even Andrew Neill (the best) and Jo Coburn (2nd best, sorry girl) can’t get answers from them when they’re on the show. A great show by the way. ( Give me the £10 later Andrew).

There are too many high profile people in POLITICS and BUSINESS whose prime concern is to make EXHORBITANT amounts of money regardless of who is on the receiving end.

Ok, low interest rates are the worst this generation has encountered and the business ‘ELITE’ do create wealth, which in turn creates jobs, but sometimes it’s just for pure greed.

They are already MILLIONAIRES. How could you or I spend a million sensibly?

My only exception is Sir Richard Branson who wants to run the National Lottery for nil profit, and pass on the ‘PROFITS‘ to CHARITIES’.

Why has he been passed by?

Read a previous blog of mine on that matter. I’m too big to be a terrier but I am like a dog with a bone. The trouble is, although Sir Richard has read my blog on the subject, he has yet to reply and say “leave it alone Jimbo”.

DOES SEX SELL?

I’m not going to discuss sex but, will show you examples of some SCREEN PRINTED SHIRTS that we at MiTeamShirt have been asked to supply.

Don’t judge us by the shirts you see.

I’ve spared you certain one’s such as sexual positions.

Some are risque, but we are grown ups so make your own mind up and give me some FEEDBACK. PREFERABLY give me SOME ORDERS.

Take care and stay healthy

Old Git Jimbo

JIMBO’S FRIDAY 13th/SUPERSTITION/HISTORY/FOLKLORE/BLOG


My blog is www.miteamshirts.com

My personal e-mail is James@mits-online.co.uk

websites for all the shirts you are looking for are below

www.myteamshirts.co.uk

www.mits-online.co.uk

Hi Guys

WE ARE HAVING FAULTS WITH SOME OF OUR LINKS THAT AUTOMATICALLY DIRECT YOU TO OUR SITE

 To  go to our website please type in the addresses of the site.

I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.

Friday the 13th, ‘the most widespread superstition’

When you wake up today, it will be one of the worst day’s of the year for you.

There will be three occurrences in 2012, exactly 13 weeks apart of Friday 13th.

Friday the 13th is considered unlucky due to the combination of two ancient beliefs, that both the number 13 and Friday are unlucky. Paraskevidekatriaphobics people afflicted with a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th will be pricking up their ears about now, bouyed by seeming evidence that the source of their unholy terror might not be so irrational after all. It’s unwise to take solace in a single scientific study, however, especially one so peculiar. I suspect these statistics have more to teach us about human psychology than the ill-fatedness of any particular date on the calendar.

The sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to date from ancient times.  According to some sources it’s the most widespread superstition in the United States today, and very similar in the UK.
Some people refuse to go to work on Friday the 13th; some won’t eat in restaurants; many wouldn’t think of setting a wedding on that date.
I know of people who book the day off from work and won’t even get out of their beds -they even plan their day by having all they need by their bedside. They are ever so careful when they go to the bathroom.

How many Americans at the beginning of the 21st century suffer from this condition? According to Dr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of phobias (and coiner of the term “paraskevidekatriaphobia”, also spelled “paraskavedekatriaphobia“), the figure may be as high as 21 million. If he’s right, no fewer than eight percent of Americans remain in the grips of a very old superstition.

Sometimes, everything you know is wrong. No, you’re not stupid, you are the victim of urban legends – modern folklore tales that have the ring of truth but are almost always false. The use of the word “urban” is not meant to suggest these myths are relegated solely to cities, but rather that these are modern tales that spread by word of mouth or the equivalent in our age, the Internet. The original story can get distorted with the repeated retelling. That’s how a kernel of truth turns into a whopper. But then again there are plenty of contemporary legends that never had any basis in fact, even though attested to by a “friend of a friend”.

“When an urban legend goes viral, it is shared on the Internet and through email by thousands or millions of individuals who believe in the veracity of the legend – or say they do”, said Fred Hurst from payday-now.net. “Because these legends often have elements of horror or humor, they are fun to talk about and spread”. There is also a certain paranoid strain within any population that is willing to believe those stories that feed their paranoia. What passes for political discourse in the 21st century is often filled with urban legends, like “health care wants to kill grandma” or “the moon landing was faked”. Some urban legends are repeated again and again on television shows, such as the Kidney Heist legend: being knocked out and waking up with a kidney missing. What a load of crap!!!. Law and Order had a field day with that one. “MythBusters” is a cable TV show dedicated to debunking urban legends and tales.

Before I end my blog, here is a joke based on American humour (not humor).

How to Get Out of A Speeding Ticket on Friday the 13th

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, (that wouldn’t always be possible in the UK), the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, (not me, my ego again), and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

“There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes”, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought, and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, I don’t need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go”.

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, “a couple of days ago my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

“Have a nice weekend”, said the officer.

Take care, stay healthy and have a safe and accident free FRIDAY 13th

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

FOOTBALLERS 3 HOURS PER WEEK v WORKERS 40 HOURS PER WEEK


My blog address is www.mitteamshirts.com

Websites are www.myteamshirts.co.uk / www.mits-online.co.uk / email us at info@mits-online.co.uk/

Hi Guys my personal e-mail james@mits-online.co.uk

I’m taking advantage of displaying some of our alternative screen printed shirts for all occasions. We have many more on our website so check them out and if you don’t see what you want then we can produce them for you, no probs.

You have our details so when you want to order or enquire about your specific taste in shirts, please get in touch. Prices are very reasonable and the choices are many.

I’m ranting and wingeing again about footballers on EASY STREET.

I’ve listened to the soccer pundits, ex-footballers by the way (Gary Neville, Gary Lineaker, Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer ((the best)) and Mark Lawrenson) commenting on why some teams are fading in team performance in the end of season ‘run in’.

They have all stated in their ‘opinions’ that footballers are playing matches too close together ie 2 games per week.

Stoke City for example have played (I believe) 51 games so far. What about the workers who are  doing 40 hours every week for 50 weeks for a fraction of their pay?

Come on guys get real and stop wrapping these so called ‘PRIMA DONNAS’ in cotton wool. (DONNA is a womans’ name, RIGHT)?

It’s a good job that I’m writing this behind closed doors ‘cos they’d have my ‘guts for garters’.

While I’m in this ‘rich vein’ of criticism, Football Managers have their own Union and meet from time to time. I have heard them complaining about the vast increases in transfer fees. These are grown men. Why don’t they ALL AGREE to put a CAP on transfer fees as they do in RUGBY LEAGUE and save their Clubs a fortune, which could be passed onto us, the fans by reducing admission prices? Makes sense to me, but then they only ‘manage’! They don’t balance the books do they?

Get rid of the ‘Mr 10% agents’ and increase the scouting to discover and nurture the home grown kids playing on the local park or playing fields.

I hate to see players ‘diving’ for various reasons, ie penalties, free kicks or to get a FELLOW PROFESSIONAL booked or sent off. In my book that is ‘CHEATING’.

They aren’t exactly good ‘role models’ for the kids who want to be players in the future.

Come back George Best. The cheats would have had to break his legs to put him on the deck because of his sheer ability to genuinely stay on his feet.

Footballers should go to watch a Rugby match and observe how ‘real men’ conduct themselves.

I watch several sports and I am amazed at their supreme fitness levels. Footballers do not even come close in fitness levels.

Tennis players Andy Murray, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic  at the Australian tennis open  earlier this year showed their superb and outstanding physical and mental fitness, but also their iron will and never-say-die spirit.

Murray and Nadal played out a thrilling Semi- Final match which lasted 4 hours-45 minutes. That is the equivilant of playing 3 football matches.

The Nadal v Djokovic Final lasted a mindblowing 5 hours and 50 minutes which is the equivilant of  10 minutes short of 4 football matches so Nadal played the equivilant of 7 football matches in 3 days.

I also saw on SKY TV Belgium (Flemish actually) Pro Cyclist Tom Boonan winning his 4th ‘Paris Roubaix’ cycle race. That race is is a one day Classic and lasts approx 6 HOURS. His time was 5 hours 55mins. Most of the race is over COBBLED STONES. Can you guys imagine having your ‘whatsits’ shaken for 6 hours? Ok, as the modern adage goes, ’too much information’!

This is not meant to be ‘sexist ‘but, women are said to be the ‘weaker sex’, rubbish. Women tennis players and cyclists very often spend more than 2 hours in one session of their sport.

I’ve previously slagged off Pro footballers because they winge (that’s my job) so much at playing 2 matches in one week. That is why I’m highlighting the void in physical fitness levels  between  the sports. In fact it’s a chasm in my view.

I wonder if the football club managers are trying to figure out how these human dynamos have become so fit, because I am. Fitness level alone is not always enough tho’. I think the magic ingredient that ties physical and mental fitness together is the iron will and motivation.

It isn’t obvious to me that soccer players have any of these abilities apart from money motivation. Even a local derby match has lost a lot of it’s magic because there are so many foreign players around, although, they are the flair players.

Because I am a ‘Chorley fella’ I have sometimes spotted Chorley’s World famous boxer Michael Jennings setting off to run up the local fells and hills of the Pennines and it must play a part in his proven fitness, stamina and durability which is necessary in a sport to which he must be dedicated.

So I put it to all you sports fans out there, are the modern day soccer players WHIMPS or is it that other sports people are HUMAN DYNAMOS?

Ok I’m off my ‘soap box’ for now, until the next time.

Take care of yourselves and stay healthy

What a shambles  Blackburn Rovers 2 v 3 Liverpool (10 men)

Get owners Venky’s out

‘Old ‘Git’ Jimbo

HAPPY EASTER JOKE


Hiya Guys

I just want to wish you all a Happy Easter with this Easter joke.

I hope you find it as funny / sad (if your an egg) as I do.

If you think your life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?

You only get laid once!

You  only get smashed once!

It takes 4 minutes to get hard!

It only takes 2 minutes to get soft!

You share your box with 5 other guys!

After 3 minutes in a hot tub you get your head smashed in and then get a good poke off soldiers!

But worst of all, the only chick to ever sit on your face was your mother!

So cheer up, life aint that bad unless your an egg.

Take care and have a Happy Easter!!!!

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

 

BLOGGER JIMBO CORRECTLY FORECASTS 16 from 18 PREMIERSHIP and CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES


BLOGGER JIMBO CORRECTLY FORECASTS 16 from 18 PREMIERSHIP and CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES.

    Hi Guys

Obviously you’re on my blog @ www.miteamshirts.com .Our website addresses are www.mits-online.co.uk or www.myteamshirts.co.uk . Our e-mail address is info@mits-online.co.uk

I would like to know wether you enjoy reading a particular blog or not. The best way you can tell me is by replying and making your comment. I will try to make it easier for you. In the next few lines below you will see some text that you can just COPY and PASTE and put into your REPLY/COMMENT.

Hi Jimbo, I’ts (YOUR NAME) here and I agree/don’t agree with some some of your comments. This is my opinion etc, etc. (YOUR COMMENT).That’s all you have to do. Just delete the words that aren’t relevant in your view.

Okay, I am back into my football match forecasting mode this weekend.

Here they are with my predicted results and scores starting with the Barclaycard Premiership and then the next division down which is the Championship.

 

Aston Villa 2 v 4 Chelsea

Everton 2 v 0 WBA

Fulham 2 v 1 Norwich City

Man City 3 v 1 Sunderland

QPR 2 v 1 Arsenal

Wigan 2 v 0 Stoke City

Wolves 2 v 3 Bolton

Now the Championship without showing the clubs 2/3 way shirts

Blackpool 3 v 0 Southampton

Brighton 1 v 1 Middlesborough

Bristol City 1 v 1 Derby County

Cardiff City 0 v 0 Millwall

Crystal Palace 0 v 3 Notts Forest

Hull City 0 v 2 Coventry City

Ipswich Town 1 v 0 Barnsley

Leeds Utd o v 2 Watford

Peterborough Utd 1 v 0 Leicester City

Portsmouth 1 v 5 Burnley

West Ham Utd 2 v 4 Reading

Those are my predictions but, I have a tip for other bloggers on how to increase the numbers of visitors to your blog.

Take advantage of any opportunity to be OUTRAGIOUS, CONTENTIOUS AND HUMOUROUS.

So here’s wishing you a very happy and HUMOUROUS APRIL FOOLS DAY.

Maybe next APRIL FOOLS DAY I’ll give you the NATIONAL LOTTERY NUMBERS.

Until the next time, take care and don’t take things too serious cos there’s always someone worse off than yourself.

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

 

 

BLOGGER JIMBO CORRECTLY FORECASTS 16 from 18 PREMIERSHIP and CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES


Give me some comments/Questions

Would you buy a shirt off this 'Old Git?

Hi Guys

Obviously you’re on my blog @ www.miteamshirts.com .Our website addresses are  www.mits-online.co.uk  or www.myteamshirts.co.uk . Our e-mail address is info@mits-online.co.uk

I would like to know wether you enjoy reading a particular blog or not. The best way you can tell me is by replying and making your comment. I will try to make it easier for you. In the next few lines below you will see some text that you can just COPY and PASTE and put into your REPLY/COMMENT.

Hi Jimbo, I’ts (YOUR NAME) here and I agree/don’t agree with some some of your comments. This is my opinion etc, etc. (YOUR COMMENT).That’s all you have to do. Just delete the words that aren’t relevant in your view.

Okay,  I am back into my football match forecasting mode this weekend.

Here they are with my predicted results and scores starting with the Barclaycard Premiership and then the next division down which is the Championship.

 

Aston Villa 2 v 4 Chelsea

Everton 2 v  0 WBA            

Fulham 2 v 1 Norwich City

 Man City 3 v 1 Sunderland

QPR 2 v 1 Arsenal       

Wigan 2 v 0 Stoke City        

Wolves 2 v 3 Bolton      

Now the Championship without showing the clubs 2/3 way shirts

Blackpool 3 v 0 Southampton

Brighton 1 v 1 Middlesborough

Bristol City 1 v 1 Derby County

Cardiff City 0 v 0 Millwall

Crystal Palace 0 v 3 Notts Forest

Hull City 0 v 2 Coventry City

Ipswich Town 1 v 0 Barnsley

Leeds Utd o v 2 Watford

Peterborough Utd 1 v 0 Leicester City

Portsmouth 1 v 5 Burnley

West Ham Utd 2 v 4 Reading

Those are my predictions but, I have a tip for other bloggers on how to increase the numbers of visitors to your blog.

Take advantage of any opportunity to be OUTRAGIOUS, CONTENTIOUS AND HUMOUROUS.

So here’s wishing you a very happy and HUMOUROUS APRIL FOOLS DAY.

Maybe next APRIL FOOLS DAY I’ll give you the NATIONAL LOTTERY NUMBERS.

Until the next time, take care and don’t take things too serious cos there’s always someone worse off than yourself.

‘Old Git’  Jimbo

MR BEAN misses SIR ALAN SUGAR and SIR RICHARD BRANSON at the O2 ARENA LONDON


Give me some comments/Questions

Would you buy a shirt off this 'Old Git?

Hi Guys

Obviously you’re on my blog @ www.miteamshirts.com .Our website addresses are  www.mits-online.co.uk  or www.myteamshirts.co.uk . Our e-mail address is info@mits-online.co.uk

I would like to know wether you enjoy reading a particular blog or not. The best way you can tell me is by replying and making your comment. I will try to make it easier for you. In the next few lines below you will see some text that you can just COPY and PASTE and put into your REPLY/COMMENT.

Hi Jimbo, I’ts (YOUR NAME) here and I agree/don’t agree with some some of your comments. This is my opinion etc, etc. (YOUR COMMENT).That’s all you have to do. Just delete the words that aren’t relevant in your view.

I would just like to keep you all upto date in our desire to improve our business and service for our customers by various means available to us.

I commented in my last blog on the prospects of travelling to the Business 2012 at the O2 Arena London, 18th-20th March and meeting business ‘icons’

  Sir/Lord Alan Sugar and

  Sir Richard Branson.

My business partner Chrissie and this ‘Old Git’ decided to travel down to London in our beautifully converted BT van/mobile home so as to enjoy the freedom and flexibility of having no restrictions 0n our time in London.

In the past we have encountered so many electrical problems with our Mobi. We thought we had eliminated any previous problems. We bought the Mobi already converted and did not have a diagram of the wiring and what all the switches and taps were for or what ran what?

We bought an ‘invertor’ which as far as I know is meant to convert/transform 12 volts into 240 volts from the battery so the power is evenly distributed to whatever appliance is running, ie TV, kettle, fridge, lights etc. There are 3 ‘brand new’ batteries on the Mobi, including what is known as a ‘leisure’ battery.

We had pre-booked onto a caravan site in the historical hamlet of Battlesbridge, Wickford in Essex.

There are 2 great pubs there at either side of the caravan site.

The Hawk Hotel is  100yds from Battlesbridge Railway station which connects at Wickford for London, and has great staff who are very pleasing in their attitude to serve.

The Barge is a local Village Pub and we found the staff very friendly and willing to serve with a smile.

We arrived at our destination at 6pm after having set off at 12 noon and covered 245 miles from Chorley, Lancashire, having previously made a 1/2 hour pit stop once we had passed Birmingham for coffee and in my case cos I’m a ‘lanky so and so’  a leg and ‘numb bum’ break. We were desperate for a coffee, so used the gas for the kettle. We also had an electric kettle for when we hooked up to the onsite electric box.

This is when our MR BEAN  scenario really kicked in.

We had a 25 metre length of cable with male/female socket fittings for our Mobi and site connections and the plan was to hook up to the onsite system and supposedly all would be ok for our first night.

EUREKA!!! Yeah that’s what we thought also if your reading this as I’m telling it.

We were looking forward, for the first time ever, to having an electrical connection from our mobile home to an onsite electrical facility.

Sowwwww we plugged in from the Mobi powerpoint to the onsite system and ……..NOTHING.

We couldn’t figure out why  there wasn’t any power from the onsite system.

Even our INVERTOR wasn’t working anymore. In fact each time we tried to use it, it kept showing a RED light meaning it had tripped out.

Hindsight, as we all know, is a wonderful thing!

What we didn’t realise was that an Invertor and a live feed do not go well together.

The onsite direct feed had actually blown out and fused the invertor, so it was useless and still is. It was no match for the live feed.

So, “in theory”, there’s always plan ‘B’, right?

‘NO’

Luckily we had a flash of inspiration and decided to unplug the invertor, and as a result, we were then getting elecricity so all was well again and that was plan ‘B’.

We wanted to get some work done on our laptops on our first night and we had been told that there was onsite Wi-Fi…..but…..the signal was very weak.

We mentioned this to the site Manager ‘John Bedford’ (who we have the utmost praise for), and he suggested that we move our mobile a bit closer to where the strongest signal was being sent from, which was a few yards away from where we were sited.

SO, we started to reverse our mobile home a few yards backwards so as to get a stronger signal.

I held and fed the cable so it wouldn’t become fast while Chrissie reversed the Mobi.

UNFORTUNATELY, what happened next seemed to be in slow motion. I saw the cable get stuck under the front wheel and before I could shout out WHOA !!! the cable fitting was RIPPED out of the outside of the Mobi and was in irrepairable pieces. DISASTER ONCE AGAIN!

We were demoralised, to say the least.

Now we DEFINATELY  had NO POWER.

We phoned John (for the third time that night) and he came round and lent us a power cable because ours was now unusable or ‘knackered’.

So we were up and running once again.

I did tell you about the ‘MR BEAN script’, wellllllll there’s more yet.

We had turned off a couple of TAPS under the sink and then planned on cooking some food.

We lit the gas cooker and it was aflame for a couple of seconds and then went out. I won’t repeat our ‘vocals’ but we were well ‘P’d’ off.

However, because we had prepared for the journey, we had brought along a new full bottle of gas. We changed the bottle which had a different connection to the replaced one and tried to light the gas. NOTHING AGAIN!!!

We were completely bemused! If this had been a MR BEAN episode we would have probably split our sides with laughter but, our situation was reality and not fiction.

We phoned John the site manager (fourth time since our arrival). All we got was his voice mail because it was his deserved night off.

After all he had already gone out of his way to lend us a fresh input/output mains lead.

We had a flash of inspiration for cooking SOME FOOD. We still had electric and an electric kettle. We also had eggs and a packet of Chow Mein noodles in the fridge.

So Chrissie prepared noodles with boiling water and I suggested that we boil the eggs in the electric kettle so that is what we did, so at least we didn’t go hungry, I think that is called improvisation.

By the time we had eaten, it was 11 pm and too late to go to one of the Pubs ‘cos I could have murdered a pint. Fortunately, and prepared again, I had a bottle of Bacardi and a large bottle of Coke and Chrissie had some Vodka so we had a couple of much needed drinks and then crashed out for the night.

The following morning we headed into London to the O2 Arena only to be informed that Sir Richard Branson and Sir Alan Sugar had both appeared the day before. Major disappointment! Undeterred, we carried on and attended various workshops and seminars including a great one on Social Media for business by ‘front man’ Chieu (not Fu Man Chu) sorry Mr Chieu but couldn’t resist that one. He represented Huddlebuy.com and by the end of the day we were disappearing under a mountain of paperwork including brochures, leaflets and flyers.

A few hours later the security men were ready for throwing us out so we had to leave – by now we were starving so we headed for the London Diner outside North Greenwich Station, where we had some great, reasonably priced food served up by the Chef. His name was Minhaj with whom I had my photo taken for the record. Highly recommended.

Two hours later we were back at Battlesbridge, still without gas but at least we had lights! And booze! (Alchoholics Anonymous we are NOT!). Duh!

After an evening of brainstorming (what else are you supposed to do in the middle of a field??), we hit the pit after deciding to call it a night, wondering what tomorrow would bring apart from a long ride home.

Tuesday morning arrived and the first thing we did was check our battery power on the Mobi – it was not looking good. We rang John (again!), who said he would come round with his car and jump start us. (We did remember to bring our own set of jump leads so were prepared for the eventuality).

5 minutes later he turned up in his old site van with one wing missing but at least it had a good battery!

We connected up to this and….twenty minutes later…..still no power to the engine!

By now John’s “battlewagon” was starting to overheat so he left it to cool down while we considered our options.

Suddenly, one of us had the brilliant idea of trying to charge ourselves up (NO NOT US PERSONALLY) using one of the two batteries under the bonnet ( for the Americans who I know follow my blogs, that’s the hood)  to charge up the other one. Strange idea I know, and we didn’t know if we’d end up blowing ourselves up or not, but frankly, by now, we really didn’t care!

So, we disconnected from John’s battery and connected our two front batteries together with the jump leads. Chrissie tried the ignition and……HALLELUIAH!….IT WORKED! Like a dream! VROOOOM!!!! VROOOOM!!!!

Finally, we had solved the problem that had been challenging us ever since we bought the Mobi – where was our power disappearing to and why? Now we knew….all that was wrong with our Mobi was that there had been a bad connection between the two front batteries which meant that one of them hadn’t been charging up fully and that was why every time we used the 12 volt lights, the batteries were draining.

Shortly after, John returned and was surprised to see that we were up and running! We mentioned to him that we still had no gas and he introduced us to Mr Fixit “a man who can”, Fred, who lives on the site.

Fred came along, armed with hammers and spanners, pliers, adjustables and anything else you can possibly think of from his workshop. He asked Chrissie if there were any cut-off valves or taps inside the Mobi and she said “no”.

Fred, who is about 70 years old, spent approximately two hours, clambouring backwards and forwards over a five barred gate to get to his workshop, and tweaking taps  and adjusting fittings, putting three new jubilee clips on the piping, and tightening up all the loose nuts. We tried the gas again….NOTHING!

Then, SUDDENLY, just as it was beginning to look as if we were being invaded by aliens, or perhaps even another MR BEAN, or something, Chrissie had a flashback. She remembered previously turning the taps under the sink unit when she was trying to improve the water flow. Could it possibly be that these taps had nothing whatsoever to do with WATER????

Sheepishly, she turned the tap back on, and tried to light the gas. HALLELUIAH, once again! WE HAD GAS!!!

It was left to ME to explain to Fred that the gas was now working. He scratched his head a bit trying to work out what he might have done to make it work again, and we didn’t have the heart to explain to him that he had just wasted the best part of two hours servicing our gas pipes!!

Well now Fred, you know the truth! And thank you so much for your time! SO SORRY Fred, you are a diamond! Every camp-site should have a Fred!

Before we did finally set off back to Chorley, we decided to walk around with the laptop to see if we could get a Wi-Fi signal. We did….only to find out that Sir Alan Sugar had NOT been to the O2 on the Sunday as we had been informed. He actually went on the TUESDAY!! So we had still missed him, thanks to our Mobi, electrics and gas problems, and all!

We were back home in the early hours of Wednesday morning 21st March after an ‘adventure’ that could quite easily have been scripted by the writers of ‘MR BEAN’.

As the old saying goes ‘all’s well that ends well.

Take care for now and catch you soon

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

MR BEAN MISSES MR SUGAR AND MR BRANSON AT THE LONDON O2 ARENA FOR BUSINESS 2012


Give me some comments/Questions

Would you buy a shirt off this 'Old Git? (Joke ok)?

Hi Guys

Obviously you’re on my blog @ www.miteamshirts.com .Our website addresses are  www.mits-online.co.uk  or www.myteamshirts.co.uk . Our e-mail address is info@mits-online.co.uk

I would like to know wether you enjoy reading a particular blog or not. The best way you can tell me is by replying and making your comment. I will try to make it easier for you. In the next few lines below you will see some text that you can just COPY and PASTE  and put into your REPLY/COMMENT.

Hi Jimbo, I’ts (YOUR NAME) here and I agree/don’t agree with some some of your comments. This is my opinion etc, etc. (YOUR COMMENT).That’s all you have to do. Just delete the words that aren’t relevant in your view.

I would just like to keep you all upto date in our desire to improve our business and service for our customers by various means available to us.

I commented in my last blog on the prospects of travelling to the Business 2012 at the O2 Arena London, 18th-20th March and meeting business ‘icons’

  Sir/Lord Alan Sugar and

  Sir Richard Branson.

 

My business partner Chrissie and this ‘Old Git’ decided to travel down to London in our beautifully converted BT van/mobile home so as to enjoy the freedom and flexibility of having no restrictions 0n our time in London.

In the past we have encountered so many electrical problems with our Mobi. We thought we had eliminated any previous problems. We bought the Mobi already converted and did not have a diagram of the wiring and what all the switches and taps were for or what ran what?

We bought an ‘invertor’ which as far as I know is meant to convert/transform 12 volts into 240 volts from the battery so the power is evenly distributed to whatever appliance is running, ie TV, kettle, fridge, lights etc. There are 3 ‘brand new’ batteries on the Mobi, including what is known as a ‘leisure’ battery.

We had pre-booked onto a caravan site in the historical hamlet of Battlesbridge, Wickford in Essex.

There are 2 great pubs there at either side of the caravan site.

 The Hawk Hotel is  100yds from Battlesbridge Railway station which connects at Wickford for London, and has great staff who are very pleasing in their attitude to serve.

 The Barge is a local Village Pub and we found the staff very friendly and willing to serve with a smile.

We arrived at our destination at 6pm after having set off at 12 noon and covered 245 miles from Chorley, Lancashire, having previously made a 1/2 hour pit stop once we had passed Birmingham for coffee and in my case cos I’m a ‘lanky so and so’  a leg and ‘numb bum’ break. We were desperate for a coffee, so used the gas for the kettle. We also had an electric kettle for when we hooked up to the onsite electric box.

This is when our MR BEAN  scenario really kicked in.

We had a 25 metre length of cable with male/female socket fittings for our Mobi and site connections and the plan was to hook up to the onsite system and supposedly all would be ok for our first night.

EUREKA!!! Yeah that’s what we thought also if your reading this as I’m telling it.

We were looking forward, for the first time ever, to having an electrical connection from our mobile home to an onsite electrical facility.

Sowwwww we plugged in from the Mobi powerpoint to the onsite system and ……..NOTHING.

We couldn’t figure out why  there wasn’t any power from the onsite system.

Even our INVERTOR wasn’t working anymore. In fact each time we tried to use it, it kept showing a RED light meaning it had tripped out.

Hindsight, as we all know, is a wonderful thing!

What we didn’t realise was that an Invertor and a live feed do not go well together.

The onsite direct feed had actually blown out and fused the invertor, so it was useless and still is. It was no match for the live feed.

So, “in theory”, there’s always plan ‘B’, right?

‘NO’

Luckily we had a flash of inspiration and decided to unplug the invertor, and as a result, we were then getting elecricity so all was well again and that was plan ‘B’.

We wanted to get some work done on our laptops on our first night and we had been told that there was onsite Wi-Fi…..but…..the signal was very weak.

We mentioned this to the site Manager ‘John Bedford’ (who we have the utmost praise for), and he suggested that we move our mobile a bit closer to where the strongest signal was being sent from, which was a few yards away from where we were sited.

SO, we started to reverse our mobile home a few yards backwards so as to get a stronger signal.

I held and fed the cable so it wouldn’t become fast while Chrissie reversed the Mobi.

UNFORTUNATELY, what happened next seemed to be in slow motion. I saw the cable get stuck under the front wheel and before I could shout out WHOA !!! the cable fitting was RIPPED out of the outside of the Mobi and was in irrepairable pieces. DISASTER ONCE AGAIN!

We were demoralised, to say the least.

Now we DEFINATELY  had NO POWER.

We phoned John (for the third time that night) and he came round and lent us a power cable because ours was now unusable or ‘knackered’.

So we were up and running once again.

I did tell you about the ‘MR BEAN script’, wellllllll there’s more yet.

We had turned off a couple of TAPS under the sink and then planned on cooking some food.

We lit the gas cooker and it was aflame for a couple of seconds and then went out. I won’t repeat our ‘vocals’ but we were well ‘P’d’ off.

However, because we had prepared for the journey, we had brought along a new full bottle of gas. We changed the bottle which had a different connection to the replaced one and tried to light the gas. NOTHING AGAIN!!!

We were completely bemused! If this had been a MR BEAN episode we would have probably split our sides with laughter but, our situation was reality and not fiction.

We phoned John the site manager (fourth time since our arrival). All we got was his voice mail because it was his deserved night off.

After all he had already gone out of his way to lend us a fresh input/output mains lead.

We had a flash of inspiration for cooking SOME FOOD. We still had electric and an electric kettle. We also had eggs and a packet of Chow Mein noodles in the fridge.

So Chrissie prepared noodles with boiling water and I suggested that we boil the eggs in the electric kettle so that is what we did, so at least we didn’t go hungry, I think that is called improvisation.

By the time we had eaten, it was 11 pm and too late to go to one of the Pubs ‘cos I could have murdered a pint. Fortunately, and prepared again, I had a bottle of Bacardi and a large bottle of Coke and Chrissie had some Vodka so we had a couple of much needed drinks and then crashed out for the night.

The following morning we headed into London to the O2 Arena only to be informed that Sir Richard Branson and Sir Alan Sugar had both appeared the day before. Major disappointment!

Undeterred, we carried on and attended various workshops and seminars including a great one on Social Media for business by ‘front man’ Chieu (not Fu Man Chu) sorry Mr Chieu but couldn’t resist that one. He represented Huddlebuy.com and by the end of the day we were disappearing under a mountain of paperwork including brochures, leaflets and flyers.

A few hours later the security men were ready for throwing us out so we had to leave – by now we were starving so we headed for the London Diner outside North Greenwich Station, where we had some great, reasonably priced food served up by Minhaj with whom I had my photo taken for the record. Highly recommended.

 

Two hours later we were back at Battlesbridge, still without gas but at least we had lights! And booze! (Alchoholics Anonymous we are NOT!). Duh!

After an evening of brainstorming (what else are you supposed to do in the middle of a field??), we hit the pit after deciding to call it a night, wondering what tomorrow would bring apart from a long ride home.

Tuesday morning arrived and the first thing we did was check our battery power on the Mobi – it was not looking good. We rang John (again!), who said he would come round with his car and jump start us. (We did remember to bring our own set of jump leads so were prepared for the eventuality).

5 minutes later he turned up in his old site van with one wing missing but at least it had a good battery!

We connected up to this and….twenty minutes later…..still no power to the engine!

By now John’s “battlewagon” was starting to overheat so he left it to cool down while we considered our options.

Suddenly, one of us had the brilliant idea of trying to charge ourselves up (NO NOT US PERSONALLY) using one of the two batteries under the bonnet ( for the Americans who I know follow my blogs, that’s the hood)  to charge up the other one. Strange idea I know, and we didn’t know if we’d end up blowing ourselves up or not, but frankly, by now, we really didn’t care!

So, we disconnected from John’s battery and connected our two front batteries together with the jump leads. Chrissie tried the ignition and……HALLELUIAH!….IT WORKED! Like a dream! VROOOOM!!!!

Finally, we had solved the problem that had been challenging us ever since we bought the Mobi - where was our power disappearing to and why? Now we knew….all that was wrong with our Mobi was that there had been a bad connection between the two front batteries which meant that one of them hadn’t been charging up fully and that was why every time we used the 12 volt lights, the batteries were draining.

Shortly after, John returned and was surprised to see that we were up and running! We mentioned to him that we still had no gas and he introduced us to Mr Fixit “a man who can”, Fred, who lives on the site.

Fred came along, armed with hammers and spanners, pliers, adjustables and anything else you can possibly think of from his workshop. He asked Chrissie if there were any cut-off valves or taps inside the Mobi and she said “no”.

Fred, who is about 70 years old, spent approximately two hours, clambouring backwards and forwards over a five barred gate to get to his workshop, and tweaking taps  and adjusting fittings, putting three new jubilee clips on the piping, and tightening up all the loose nuts. We tried the gas again….NOTHING!

Then, SUDDENLY, just as it was beginning to look as if we were being invaded by aliens, or perhaps even another MR BEAN, or something, Chrissie had a flashback. She remembered previously turning the taps under the sink unit when she was trying to improve the water flow. Could it possibly be that these taps had nothing whatsoever to do with WATER????

Sheepishly, she turned the tap back on, and tried to light the gas. HALLELUIAH, once again! WE HAD GAS!!!

It was left to ME to explain to Fred that the gas was now working. He scratched his head a bit trying to work out what he might have done to make it work again, and we didn’t have the heart to explain to him that he had just wasted the best part of two hours servicing our gas pipes!!

Well now Fred, you know the truth! And thank you so much for your time! SO SORRY Fred, you are a diamond! Every camp-site should have a Fred!

Before we did finally set off back to Chorley, we decided to walk around with the laptop to see if we could get a Wi-Fi signal. We did….only to find out that Sir Alan Sugar had NOT been to the O2 on the Sunday as we had been informed. He actually went on the TUESDAY!! So we had still missed him, thanks to our Mobi, electrics and gas problems, and all!

We where back home in the early hours of Wednesday morning 21st March after an ‘adventure’ that could quite easily have been scripted by the writers of ‘MR BEAN’.

Take care for now and catch you soon

‘Old Git’ Jimbo

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,659 other followers

%d bloggers like this: